Oof! It's SO One Of Those Days...
And so, today has not been such a fantastic day for me! I woke with the realization, that to some people, I'm just not that worthy! Which is fine, but which also prompted me to pen a Poem:
SILENCE
Your silence slices my heart, like a razor blade slashes the flesh, and I bleed as though I were cut and shown bare for all to see, and you laugh at my foolishness.
Unimportant to your needs, used, and discarded. Self aggrandizement, your importance. Your quest.
So darkly do I think of you now, hideous in your arrogance. You force me to feel what I dare not admit, your vulgar sanctuary, empty.
Your silence, the quiet, speaks to my innermost thoughts where you dwelt within me, the beast of rejection, agony, and injured pride, defeat.
You cast your eye about, but I? Not within your frame. How could you ignore what I so boldly laid out for you to eat?
Even the least infatuated would take the time to look. Worthwhile? Perhaps, and then again, it seems, not so.
Time has been wasted, on what? For whom? Why would I spend the precious little seconds I have to look any longer?
A waste the curiosity has been, and the lost time never recouped. And so, I move on. To actions of more importance than you.
I move onto acceptance of the person I am, of what I do, where appreciation does not come wrapped in a perfect package.
Where validity of word and prose are vindicated, and success, a self-fulfilled act of justice, deserved, for having survived.
I have been moved, internally, from the selfishness, and willful act of ignorance. Moved on from you and your dreadful silence.
And into a place where silence is not the rule, but the exception. Where silence is chosen, not as rejection or slight, but as reflection.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that poetry, and the penning of, is not my strongest writing forte, but I wrote it, and it's mine, and that's all I can say about it. Other than this..
The poem was inspired by someone who will remain nameless. But, in writing it, it released me from a burden I was personally carrying, and I needed to, purge, if you will, my feelings over it. I realized that I was wasting a lot of valuable time and energy. Time and energy that is, that I don't really have to devote to such frivolous activities, and so, I'm over it! I'm moving on, so I can concentrate on my writing, which, may I add, will not only enrich my life, but the lives of those who surround me. I'm a much happier person when I'm in the zone and writing, rather than daydreaming about some unobtainable goal that was festering inside of me, and my family is much happier when I'm in the zone too! Make sense? Probably not, hm? It does to me, so...
The thinking of that person was an escape for me during a very serious time of transition in my life, and now, I no longer need a diversion of my senses, or preoccupation. I'm here, writing, and for the first time in a very long time of my life, focused back on the things that bring me the most joy, family, friends, and writing! And of course, my lil' Westie, Angel!
So, I suppose the moral of today's post is, don't waste your time on things that bring no joy or completeness to your life, and instead, focus your energies on those things which enhance you, your life, and your well-being! So, nameless So-and-So, I've spent time and energy on you, and today I've decided, enough is enough! I may not mean anything to you, and that's okay, I'm going to keep my harmony and balance and say, just because I don't mean anything to you, I mean a great deal to myself, because in the end, I'm Just Me...
SILENCE
Your silence slices my heart, like a razor blade slashes the flesh, and I bleed as though I were cut and shown bare for all to see, and you laugh at my foolishness.
Unimportant to your needs, used, and discarded. Self aggrandizement, your importance. Your quest.
So darkly do I think of you now, hideous in your arrogance. You force me to feel what I dare not admit, your vulgar sanctuary, empty.
Your silence, the quiet, speaks to my innermost thoughts where you dwelt within me, the beast of rejection, agony, and injured pride, defeat.
You cast your eye about, but I? Not within your frame. How could you ignore what I so boldly laid out for you to eat?
Even the least infatuated would take the time to look. Worthwhile? Perhaps, and then again, it seems, not so.
Time has been wasted, on what? For whom? Why would I spend the precious little seconds I have to look any longer?
A waste the curiosity has been, and the lost time never recouped. And so, I move on. To actions of more importance than you.
I move onto acceptance of the person I am, of what I do, where appreciation does not come wrapped in a perfect package.
Where validity of word and prose are vindicated, and success, a self-fulfilled act of justice, deserved, for having survived.
I have been moved, internally, from the selfishness, and willful act of ignorance. Moved on from you and your dreadful silence.
And into a place where silence is not the rule, but the exception. Where silence is chosen, not as rejection or slight, but as reflection.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that poetry, and the penning of, is not my strongest writing forte, but I wrote it, and it's mine, and that's all I can say about it. Other than this..
The poem was inspired by someone who will remain nameless. But, in writing it, it released me from a burden I was personally carrying, and I needed to, purge, if you will, my feelings over it. I realized that I was wasting a lot of valuable time and energy. Time and energy that is, that I don't really have to devote to such frivolous activities, and so, I'm over it! I'm moving on, so I can concentrate on my writing, which, may I add, will not only enrich my life, but the lives of those who surround me. I'm a much happier person when I'm in the zone and writing, rather than daydreaming about some unobtainable goal that was festering inside of me, and my family is much happier when I'm in the zone too! Make sense? Probably not, hm? It does to me, so...
The thinking of that person was an escape for me during a very serious time of transition in my life, and now, I no longer need a diversion of my senses, or preoccupation. I'm here, writing, and for the first time in a very long time of my life, focused back on the things that bring me the most joy, family, friends, and writing! And of course, my lil' Westie, Angel!
So, I suppose the moral of today's post is, don't waste your time on things that bring no joy or completeness to your life, and instead, focus your energies on those things which enhance you, your life, and your well-being! So, nameless So-and-So, I've spent time and energy on you, and today I've decided, enough is enough! I may not mean anything to you, and that's okay, I'm going to keep my harmony and balance and say, just because I don't mean anything to you, I mean a great deal to myself, because in the end, I'm Just Me...
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