HELLO AGAIN!


So, as you can see, I haven't blogged in a good and long while, and I'm going to rectify that now! The other day, I posted a message to a new friend I had made through Twitter, and, in the message, I had shared with him that I've been seriously putting pen to paper for the past four years. True? Yes. But it occurred to me that, that particular statement is not the case exactly. In thinking about my comment to him, and in reading the older blogs that I've written, I came to realize that I've been writing for my entire life! Really? You ask. My answer, "Um, yah."

If you've read my older blogs, (and I hope that you have. You can read my older posts here: http://pattyannmccarthy.blogspot.com/ ) then you know a little something about me already, and what I've survived as a child. And if you haven't, by all means, feel free to do so! If you have read them, I'm certain the older posts may make me seem a bit, em, how shall I say? Off? Well, I'm not. Yes, I may be different, a bit odd, loopy, kooky, weird, scary, or, maybe even to some, eccentric, but in my opinion, and as you can see from my Blog title, "I'm Just Me!" That's it. Nothing more, and nothing less. I'm Just Me....

Those older posts were my way of sharing, not only what I'd been through, but also maybe to offer a safety net for others who are enduring, or have endured the same thing. I'm not saying that it was the most logical way of dealing with the situation, but what is logic to a child? Really. After I re-read my older blogs, I came to realize I was a writer even as a child. I painted a fantastical picture of this Sanctuary that was created, I say, for me, others may say, created myself, but created none the less. Of course, I didn't realize then that I was writing, but I'm supposing I was practicing being a writer, though it wasn't intentional at all, even back then! I said before, in an older blog, that I believe 'everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason I went through all that I have, was because it was meant to be, "I" was meant to be, a Writer. Would I be able to create a picture with words if I hadn't created the picture of my sanctuary as a child? Would I be able to describe in detail, what I see in my head if that hadn't happened to me? Maybe. But then again, maybe not. I'm a, find the positive, the silver lining in every dark cloud kind of gal! And in truth, I wouldn't want to be any other way. So, okay, I'll say it, If my older posts make me sound crazy, that's okay. I know you don't mean it, and I can forgive your thinking that of me, but in this case, my feeling is, walk a mile in my shoes, and then say that!

I suppose what I'm saying is it comes down to this. If it wouldn't have been for all of that, I wouldn't be all of me, and all of me means, I am a Writer! After all, I've literally been writing the whole of my lifetime. Am I published? No. Do I yet have a finished manuscript? No, not quite. And does any of that mean I'm not a Writer? No. The truth is, my earlier blogs are true. Every word. Even the part about hearing God's voice. No, I'm not delusional, I can assure you. But, I'm going to save that for another day, as it really doesn't have a bearing here; well, I guess it does if you believe we are created by God to be who we are, but a lot of people don't believe in the power of a Higher Being, and that's okay too. If that's your belief, then I won't judge you, if you don't judge me. Okay?

So let me tell you what's going on with me these days...
I'm writing. Full-time, nose to the grindstone, chock-full of great ideas, and all that other stuff you hear people say. You want to hear something a little strange? Ha, you laugh! As if you haven't already? Most of my manuscripts have come from nightmares I've had. I dream very vivid dreams! Is that the 'curse', if you will, of a Writer? Perhaps. Though I can't say for sure. Only thing I am certain of is, every manuscript or story line that I've ever written, except for one, has come from a detailed and vivid nightmare! And please don't worry for my future. I have nightmares all the time! Maybe it's residue from my childhood. I don't really know, but, what's that old saying? 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'? I'm okay with it, and you ought to be too!

One of the novels I'm working on, the one that isn't from a nightmare, well, it is, but it was a living nightmare, and I mean that literally, as I've lived the whole novel through personal experience, that is to say, it's a humorous memoir. See there again, silver lining! I turned the negative into something positive. Anyway, that novel is three chapters shy of being completely written, and then of course, it needs a rewrite or two, but it's almost at the finish line! The only problem with that is that I've moved on from that scene with a major personal life change, and I no longer have the impetus, or rather, the main character to glean from anymore, so I need to figure out how to bring that novel to a resolution, and yet keep the humor present, even though that is now in my past. I'll figure it out when the time is right for it to move forward.

But in the meantime, I'm not standing still. I'm also working on my newest novel, and one that I want to be my debut novel! It's a completely different genre.. horror, and one that I had a nightmare about, created a storyline for, and am attacking with gusto! I love, love, love my characters, I love where the story is heading, and I especially love that it'll be a series novel! And then, I have various story outlines and character profiles for at least ten other books, and yes, all from nightmares. And they're really good and juicy stories too! Did I mention that I love having nightmares! That sounds odd, doesn't it? But, without them, would I be able to create? Hm. Not sure about that one. There's something to be said for the subconscious isn't there? I think so anyway. And what I really dig, is that, from a dream, I can create something that doesn't exist yet.. a really CrEePy book from one of MY nightmares! Who else could write that but me?

I deal with the issue of which story to begin writing in my own little way. And that is, I picture each story outline as a magnificent, elongated, and quite colorful feather-quill pen in a decorously Baroque-style bronzed cup. Whichever quill sticks up the highest, is the story I write next. Isn't that weird? I wonder how other Writers decide on which story to write next? I'd be curious to know! And as I write this blog to you my dear reader, I realize I've dallied enough here for the day, as I have a gorgeous Kelly Green quill pen standing tall at the moment, and one that I must pick up! And so, I must be off to writing my newest debut novel! Thanks so much for reading my prose, and I hope that you'll stop back for more... And, in the meantime, you keep being you, and I promise I'll be... I'm Just Me.

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